Book Review: Neil Patrick Harris

Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography - Neil Patrick Harris

True to the title, this autobiography does allow you to choose your own path for reading, with several false endings (though they are typically only 1-2 pages long, each).  "You" traverse through Neil's life, which ends up being quite eventful, and overall, enjoyable.  Although I did enjoy the "choose your own adventure" books as a child, I recalled them being quite painful to retrace and explore all of the branching possibilities.  As a result, I elected to read straight through, with minimal repercussions--I was only mildly confused a couple of times as the book remained in roughly chronological order (Bonus: there are two pages that are not accessible following the books instructions).  Intermixed with his story, there are several magic tricks, instructions for making a couple of Neil's favorite drinks, a bolognese recipe, and a crossword puzzle.

It was an interesting experience to read about Neil's coming out, and generally being a gay man, in second person.  Well played, NPH.  Also, the description of his partner and children were pretty adorable.  And now, for my favorite alternate ending, to give you some flavor of the book (hopefully I can post this much under fair use):

On the evening of September 22, 2012, you, Neil Patrick Harris, feel a sudden, overwhelming urge to commit murder.  It's not the first time you've felt it.  Not at all.  Truth be told, at no point in your life have you not sporadically been gripped by the need, the craving, the hunger to watch the life drain away from a man's face. 
It has taken all the discipline and strength of will you could muster to stifle those cravings and channel those murderous impulses. But you have, and all that sublimated rage has paid off in the form of a successful acting career and a sterling reputation as a genial on-air presence and all-around nice guy.
But you, Neil Patrick Harris, are not an all-around nice guy. Deep in your soul you are little more than a craven hunter of human meat.
And tonight, as you drive home from the set of How I Met Your Mother, you are determined to finally give in to those dark instincts.
And that's when you see the hitchhiker.
The next morning you're sitting at the breakfast table.
"Did you see this?" asks David. "They found a headless body just off the road in Laurel Canyon this morning. Isn't that right on your way home from work?"
"Yes," you remark. "Freaky. Any suspects?"
"None," he says. "No fingerprints, no ID, nothing. And no sign of the head. By the way, where were you last night?"
"Oh, I was...bowling."
"Bowling?" says David, dubiously. "Since when do you bowl?"
"Since last night."
"Well, I suppose that would explain that new bowling ball bag I saw by the front door this morning."
"I suppose it would." You laugh. "By the way, you didn't, um...open that bag, did you? See its contents?"
"No," says David, "I didn't. But congratulations on your new hobby, Neil. Bowling. Maybe you'll earn yourself another trophy."
"I already have my trophy," you respond quietly, chuckling to yourself.
But David doesn't hear you. He has gone to the front door to unzip the bag and remove its contents...
...an ordinary bowling ball.
Then he returns to the kitchen, sneaks up behind you, and beats you to death with it.
"I hate bowling," says David. "Almost as much as I hated that guy whose head I cut off in Laurel Canyon last night."